Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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