I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize