I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
