i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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