i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
