We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
