On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
