oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
