Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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