Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
