Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
