You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize