it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
