I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
