If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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