Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
