note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
