Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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