It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think I died a long time ago.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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