I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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