I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
