i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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