I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
