I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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