I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
