I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
