last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
