Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
