sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
