This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
