I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm always down for nudity.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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