Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
