And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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