the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
