I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
