i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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