OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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