i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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