Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
