you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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