dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
