She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
