turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
