you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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