apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
