so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
