Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize