How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
