Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
