You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
