when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
