Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
