I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
