i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
