Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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