Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
