oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
