SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
