We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
