Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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