Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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