I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Im part way to drunk.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
