you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
