ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
