Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
