wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
